It’s a nice town.

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Winston-Salem is not the town for me. It’s a nice enough place. Just not for me. As someone who is forever viewing each city or town I live in as Goldilocks’ next bowl of porridge that’s not quite right, I actually knew before I moved here that it was going to be a little lukewarm. The impetus for my relocation to Winston was to be closer to my folks as they’re both now in their 80s. But I had no plans to stay. Visiting it before I relocated just over a year and a half ago, I thought, “Well, this is actually kind of neat. I can do this.” And I wasn’t entirely wrong.

I have distinct and wonderful memories of Winston-Salem from my youth: visiting my older sisters at their all girl’s boarding school and then much later, as a young man, sitting in Old Salem on a crisp fall day, lost in a world of vampires. More memories throughout the years but none as fond as the ones from my younger days. I didn’t make any noteworthy memories while I was living here, arriving not long before the year of the lockdown, but I was okay with that. I didn’t see a lot of value in making friends here when I knew I wasn’t going to stay.

So yeah. It’s a town. And it’s nice. And I think for a lot of people it would be and is a nice place to live. Just not for me. So I’m moving to the coast later this year. It’ll keep me close enough to the folks without having to live in this town. Which, again, is a nice enough place.

But something you people (and here I’m talking to residents of Camel City) really need to come to terms with is the fact that the largest building in your city skyline is a dildo. Argue about it all you want (as you do) but if enough people’s first impression is that it looks like a giant dildo, well, it looks like a giant dildo.

I mean on the plus side, this whole area is so hilly and full of trees that the skyline is only visible once you’re close to it or from certain vantage points. But for people driving into town who have never been here before? They have zero time to get comfortable with it until it’s right up in their face. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! There’s a giant building shaped like a dildo!!! What the actual hell?! Where are we?!

One minute, it’s just trees and then Bam! Giant dildo in the sky.

I guess you can at least be glad it’s sitting at the bottom of the hill in downtown. Can you imagine if it was at the top? That would just seem rude.

Come on.
Well, at least it just looks like an incredibly boring building once you get up close. Like, real close.
But I mean, come on.
Sometimes perspective works in your favor. But it’s still a giant dildo.
When the only bit of skyline you can see is a little chubby sticking out between the shrubbery.
You can’t escape it. Here it is, just poking out a little at nightfall. Thank the stars they had the foresight to light it up at night so everyone could see it 24 hours a day!

Nice Things

I do have some nice things to say about Winston-Salem, but we need to just go ahead and get this outta the way.

2 comments

It was great meeting you and I will continue to follow you. Much peace and success to you Scott!

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